Regretting Everything for Regretting Nothing
by arillovesyou22
Summary: "Please, attempting suicide is a stupid cry for attention," she snarls. It wasn't. Not for her. It was seepage of air. She just needed to breathe.


**I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately. All these angst ideas had been clogging my mind for quite some time now. Great for my stories, bad for my sleep.**

**Warning: This is my first angst story, be tender. And, I just finished writing this up, so I apologize if there might be mistakes. **

**You've been cautioned.**

**I do ****NOT**** own Teen Wolf.**

"_There's something I need to talk about." Lydia said out loud as Allison Argent had been grumbling about her irrational parents, who were forbidding her and Lydia to go out 'studying'. _

"_If they can't trust me then they don't deserve me as a daughter," she fumes, sitting cross-legged on her bed. _

_Lydia rolls her eyes. "Allison-" _

"_They have these standards for me that I can't even reach," she groans, laying down and covering a pillow to her face. "They expect me to follow in their footsteps." She pauses. Lydia debates weather she should pipe up again. Allison stands, throwing the pillow on the floor. "Not tonight. We're going, get your coat."_

_Lydia arches her brows, "I think your father made it pretty clear-"_

"_I don't care." She opens her window, and takes a step on her roof, looking back and over her shoulder, "come on."_

_Lydia sighs, grabs her coat and purse, and follows. Why she decided wearing high heels was expectable for a movie, she'll never know. And as she struggles to get off of Allison's high roof, she mentally debates if agreeing to this would be worth it._

_The movie theater is packed. Mostly adolescent's eager to see a new action packed film that came out at midnight. They take empty seats in the back, Scott and Allison holding hands, her head on his shoulder. They're whispering to each other, kissing noses. _

_She blinks and looks away. _

_Focus on the film. Focus on the film. Focus on the God damn film._

_She can't. They're acting all lovely dovey, sharing popcorn and soda. It was cliché and foreseeable. And she wanted that._

_She glances over at Stiles, who's so into the movie she's convinced he doesn't even take notice that his phone is silently vibrating in his pants. She tore her eyes from him. She tried to like him, she did. He was sweet, and considerate, and was everything anyone wanted in a relationship. _

_She sighs and stands. No one notices, so she exits the theater and into the bathroom. _

_She breathes. _

_Just breathe. Just breathe. She just needs to God damn breathe._

_She washes her hands, there was no real point to, but she does so. Just to keep herself preoccupied. "Lydia?" a voice haunts her. She turns to the culprit, and frowns at Allison. She chuckles, "when'd you leave?"_

_Lydia blinked. _

"_About five minutes ago." She lies._

_She nods, and looks down at her blouse, which was stained in soda. _

_Nice one, McCall. _

_She moves towards the paper towels. "Are you having fun?"_

"_I have to ask you something." _

_Allison looks disordered, but nods. "Sure, anything."_

"_I'm not… really in a good place, right now." Lydia looks down at the shinning tiles, hands in her red back skirt pockets._

_Allison furs her brows, beginning to wipe the mess on her clothes. "Lydia… you can tell me anything, you know?" Lydia shrugs. "But I think you better discuss this with your mom if it's that serious."_

_Lydia blinks. Twice this girl has taken her off guard in one night._

"_What?"_

_Allison throws the paper towels away and places a hand on her friend's shoulder, "come on, let's go back to the movie. I think Stiles might be waiting on you," she grins, nodding towards the theater. _

_She brushes her hand off, "I just forgot, I need to discuss something with my mom," she snaps, walking away._

_Allison watches with a frown, "Lydia." She stops and faces her. She sighs and stares, knowing she couldn't convince her. "Call me later tonight, okay?"_

_Lydia crosses her arms, "If you'll answer..."_

_Allison nodded, "I will."_

Teen Wolf

Allison sits quietly at her desk. Her hands in her lap, her head bowed down, and her eyes shut peacefully. Her peers seemed untroubled, that day. It was Tuesday. Just a boring, every week Tuesday. Her father woke her that morning, telling her she'd be late if she didn't get out of bed.

She didn't care. She didn't mind if she got a week's detention. Or a months. Or even a year. She just didn't want to go in.

Scott sat beside her, sighing. She opened her eyes and grinned at him. He gave her a reassuring look, placing a hand on top of hers. "Are you okay?"

She shakes her head, tears cutting her vision, so she shuts them. Scott frowns.

"I never answered her."

Teen Wolf

_Allison snarled into her pillow as she overheard her cell phone play from the nightstand next to her bed. She sat up a bit and stretched for the small device, seeing Lydia's cheerful face light up the screen. Allison huffs and debates:_

_Answer and listen to being insulted, or ignore and talk to her tomorrow._

_She _did_ feel pretty annoyed. Her mother grounding her for sneaking out, earning an hour lecture about a "certain supernatural boy" whose name had yet to be said._

_She sighed, "sorry, Lyd." She shrugs, pressing ignore._

_However once again, not even a minute later, i__t rings._

_Ignore._

_Ring… Ring…_

_"__Ugh!" Allison groans, pushed ignore, and turned her phone OFF after she had seen Lydia left her a voicemail._

"_Allison! Get down here, now!" her father shouts. _

_She sighs, gives herself a small prayer of hope, and hops off her bed and waits for the earsplitting discipline. _

_Teen Wolf_

_Allison woke up from a much needed slumber, and turned her phone back on. Lydia never did call her back after she switched off her phone, so she decided to listen to the voicemail._

_"__Allison, you said you'd answer." She groans over the phone, "I REALLY need to talk to you right now," she says, clearly exasperated. "It's important. I'm feeling so out of it and lost, and… I need help. I need my best friend, who understands me. Please call me back and just talk to me."_

_Allison sighed and pressed "Call Back", suddenly feeling guilty that she was in fact, being a bad friend. _

_It rang, and rang, but nothing happened._

_"__Typical Lydia," Allison grumbled as she placed her phone in her jean pocket when she stood from the bed and grabbed her coat and car keys. "Make me go all the way to your house after making me worry sick about you just because you won't answer your stupid phone." She mumbled as she stomped downstairs, realizing it was pretty early. She carefully opened the door, and tiptoed out._

_After driving 5 minutes to her house, Allison went towards the back since Lydia's mom never locked it. She went to open the window, but gasped when she saw a shadow of a girl. A girl who could never be broken. A girl who had it all planned out, lied dead. _

_A girl who never told Allison she needed a best friend who could listen. Never getting the chance to say she'd been hurting herself for a month now. Never having the moment to tell her she was aching for _years_. Never telling her she'd given up on herself. Never getting the chance to tell her that she was sorry: for everything. _

_And Allison suddenly regrets everything. _

Teen Wolf

"Scott!" He winced. Her voice was so _loud_. "Are you home?"

He sighs, "yeah mom," she calls back, pushing himself away from his computer and walking towards his door, making his way downstairs.

She sighs, "Such a mess," she mutters under her breath, making Scott groan. She was in her mood, today.

He smiles at her when she sees him, a hand on her hip. "How was work?" he asks.

She shakes her head, "don't you know how to clean up after yourself?" She nags. He frowns. "I swear it's like I'm living with a dog." He almost smiles.

"Sorry," she shrugs.

She peeks a glance at him, and sighs. "Am I being a shitty parent?" she asks, both hands on her hips this time, her temper altering utterly.

"No, mom."

"It's just…" she gazes around the kitchen. Filthy dishes pilled the sink, a bag of chips were open with crumbs scattering the countertop, the milk carton open and warm. "I don't ask for much, Scott."

He sighs, "I know, I know, mom. I'm just… not feeling good."

She nods, sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Scott."

He shakes his head, "me too."

Teen Wolf

_Scott smiles and lay on his bed. _

_Going out last night with Allison without anything getting too bad: he'd call it a success. For the first time, Scott took his phone from his pocket. Not like there would be anything unusual. The only people who contacts him is Stiles and Allison, and Allison wasn't allowed to even glance in his direction, according to her parents, and Stiles had been so drained into the movie he hadn't sent him anything that night._

"_Six missed calls from Lydia?" Scott asked, sitting up. His finger cautiously hovered over the 'listen to voicemail' button. He glances outside, it was so beautiful out. Not a cloud in the sky._

_Scott sighs and presses the button, pushing the phone to his ear, while dragging his feet towards his bathroom, catching the time: 7:59 AM. _

_Too early to be up._

_Deciding against plopping back onto his bed and having sweet dreams about his lovely girlfriend (possibly more), Scott turned on his sink and began brushing his teeth._

"_Scott," he heard her cold voice over the line and roll his eyes. He wasn't about to be disrespected over the phone by a girl he protected. "It's Lydia, obviously." He could almost hear her eye roll, "__Anyway, listen, I need someone to talk to." She sighs. "I'm not feeling too good, emotionally, right now and I just need help-"_

_Scott sighs and presses delete. They were _not_ friends. They did not chat, they didn't text or call each other, they didn't study together (he didn't study at all), and he did not want to listen to her whine about Jackson._

_He spit his toothpaste, ran his tongue over his brushed teeth, and decided to take his dreams with Allison after all, and sunk into his bed._

_Teen Wolf_

_He sighs. "Mom! Do you know where my Lacrosse gloves are?" he groans, lifting his hanging sheets to look under his bed._

"_Where'd you have them last?" she shouts. He grimaces and covers his ears. He really should talk to her about talking at an ordinary tone around him._

"_If I knew, I wouldn't be looking for them," he mumbles, shuffling across his room._

_He and Stiles decided to take a breather from all the supernatural deaths in their town, and were simply going to practice some lacrosse one on one, and just relax a bit. Well, however relaxed you can get when balls are being aimed around your head._

_A ring erupts his ears, and Scott groans. He picks it up, and presses it against his ear, searching his closet. _

"_What, Stiles?" he asks, not bothered to look at the caller ID. Again, who would contact him, anyway?_

"_What? Allison?" He stops, and grips the phone closer to his ear, not that it was needed. Why was she calling him? Her father was going to find out. "Wait… calm down, what about Lydia-?"_

_His heart stopped._

"_Wait, stop screaming." He grabbed his shoes and ran down the stair in almost a millisecond. "I'm coming over!" he shouts, not caring about her father. Scott snatches his mother's keys, disregarding her curious glares._

_Lydia Martin and suicide didn't mix well. It didn't taste right in a sentence. It was acrimonious and bitter. _

_As he cries in his mother's car, Scott McCall regrets everything. _

Teen Wolf

Ring… Ring…

_Stiles paused his movements on the keyboard in front of him, and peeks at his phone. Lydia was calling. He did a double take, then a triple check, just to make sure. _

_He had snooped around Allison's contacts, saying he was just looking, but once he found her number, he instantly added it to his phone. How she had his, he wasn't sure. He wouldn't question it, not now. It rang five times before a dazed Stiles gripped the phone and cleared his throat._

"_H-hello?" He asked, his voice shaking._

"_Stiles?" _

"_Lydia," he breathed out and chuckled to himself._

"…_hey…" Something in her speech wasn't right._

_Stiles was concerned. "Are you alright?"_

"_No." She immediately answered. "Stiles, I'm not in a good place in my head." She chokes. He doesn't need wolf sanities to express that she's crying._

_He was bothered, "Do you wanna talk about it? Should I come over?" A knock on his door made Stiles jump. He turns in his seat towards the door, "hold on a sec." _

"_What? Stiles, seriously?" She sounded hurt._

"_Dad," he hisses, putting his hand over the phone, "what?" he asks once his father peeks into his room._

"_Erica and Isaac are here?" he says as if it were an enquiry. Questioning if he recognized the names, or the mere fact he was stunned by somebody further than Scott required seeing him._

_Stiles arches his brows and looks out his window, seeing a car, undeniably, parked in front of his house. He nods at his dad and Mr. Stilinski gives his son an abnormal gaze before shaking his head and leaving. Stiles puts the phone back to his ear: "Lydia… I think I have to call you back."_

"_Wait, Stiles." She's crying. He doesn't know what to do in these circumstances. "Don't leave." She cries out._

_He sighed deeply. "I'll be right back; I just have to get rid of someone. I promise."_

_He knew they could hear him: Erica chuckling and Isaac pressing his hands together self-assuredly. He already could grasp them beaming from ear to ear, already having some sort of plan in store. "Lydia, I'll call you in a minute, okay?"_

"_No." She said taciturnly, surprising him. He blinks, and almost forgets how to breathe. "Forget it. I wish you luck." And she hung up._

_Stiles paled. "What the?"_

Teen Wolf

_He fell asleep at his desk. His phone was in his hand, and a website about hallucinations was brightly lighting his room. As soon as Stiles got rid of Erica and Isaac, he blew up Lydia's phone. All he heard was her cheery voice telling him to leave a voicemail, which he would every time he called. _

_His phone buzzes, and it tickles his palm. He wakes up, wiping the droll from his lip, and rubbing the sleep away with the back of his wrist. He glares at his phone, groans, and places the phone to his ear._

"_Hello?" he says groggily, his eyes fallen, but his alert high. "Whoa, what? W-what? You-you're-"_

_He's suddenly awake. But he ignores Scott's voice over the line._

_He officially forgot all about Erica and Isaac. Forgot about their threats and their venom. His heartache and everything else, that was bothering him. "Oh my god…" _

_He cries. He believes he may had cried as hard as he did when his mother died. He pitches his phone across the room, and glides down the wall and simply cries._

Stiles let out a breath once the petrifying recurrence was over and done with. He propped again his door, holding his head in his hands. "Stiles?" his father asked, knocking on his door, "you alright, kiddo?"

Stiles sniffed, wiping his face with his sleeve, "ye-yeah. Yeah dad, I'll be alright."

Mr. Stilinski doesn't say anything, simply stares at the closed door and frowns.

"I'm so sorry, Lydia." Stiles whispers, regretting everything.

Teen Wolf

"_Why are you seeing a therapist, Lydia?" Allison asked as she was driving her redhead best friend to an appointment. Personally, she didn't want to at all, but Lydia required a ride. It was Friday. She wanted to go out and see Scott. She predicted she could wait another hour or so. "You're crazy, but not _that_ crazy." She jokes. _

_Lydia rolls her eyes and shrugged. "My mom and dad think I've lost it."_

_Allison raised an eyebrow. "Lydia, if anybody needs to see a therapist, I think it's me."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I've been friends with you this long and haven't ripped you head off," she teases, giggling. Lydia smirks. _"_Lyds, you know if you need to talk, I'm here." she said seriously._

_Lydia nodded. "I know." Allison didn't believe that she did though._

"_And, you're not crazy." Allison speaks._

_Lydia rolls her eyes, "tell that to my psycho parents. I'm pretty sure they're convinced I have schizophrenia."_

_Allison doesn't say she may believe them. _

"_Just don't go all suicidal on me, okay?" she giggles, nudging her best friend with her elbow. _

_Lydia huffs, crossing her arms. "Please, attempting suicide is a stupid cry for attention," she snarls._

It wasn't. Not for her. It was seepage of air. She just needed to breathe.

Breathe. Breathe. She just needed to breathe.

And she regrets nothing.

**Whew… okay, I'm on the verge of tears.**

**I've been read a lot of angst stories out there, and I was feeling a little out of it. **

**Note: I've been writing this right after Monday night's episode, and it's taken me this long to upload it. So, if you read this and a new episode is watched and more information is released and my story is a laughing stock, apologies ahead of time. **

**Thanks for the read, everyone. **

**Review?**


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